My recent companion/pupil lives by this saying: “All or nothing”. In the first stage of dating we spent lots of time talking and unfolding each other’s personalities, like you do, as we didn’t know each other from before. He’s an Absolute guy. And I’m a Spectrum girl.
Because I’m like a collection of paradoxes (shallow AND deep, sensitive AND cold hearted..and anything between..) I just can’t understand his two dimensional reality. I guess that’s why he’s around. I make him question the ends of the range.
But make no mistake, I haven’t been always like that. When growing up, I tried to identify with “boxes” and “labels” and “absolutes”. Then I came across a motivational program (which I can’t remember who it came from), where they talked about limits and self-sabotage, as in having two “colliding” wishes, like “I can have a degree OR stable income”, “I can have a great career OR functioning family” and from there you’d start working on one of the outcomes. But in that article they proposed a question: what if you change OR into AND?? This tiny adjustment can completely change your point of view and will help you generate more “outside the box” solutions on how you could achieve such a goal.
Then and there my perception changed. Now I know I’m All AND Nothing. I have no beginning and no end. I have no limits unless I confine myself to the six walls of impossible.